


V7 - Misguided

by JudyL



Series: The Vet Series [7]
Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-19
Updated: 2011-10-19
Packaged: 2017-10-24 19:12:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/266901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JudyL/pseuds/JudyL
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>There are a few spoilers here, although I usually just assume everyone has seen the series or has at least read the episode rewrites. So, spoilers for canon TS: Killers. I also make reference to several of the stories listed under the "My Sentinel Universe" heading on my main TS fic page. The Vet storyline follows the MSU storyline at least up until and including "Qualifying.(these stories are not yet up on AOOO, you can find them on my website) So assume anything that happened in those stories occurred in this AU. And although this series may have started out life as a MarySue, I think Jenny has grown beyond that. She certainly has no problem telling me what to write. I do have to admit to a MaryFido and two MaryFluffys though.</p><p>Remember to let me know what you liked or didn't like about the story when you're done reading. Feedback keeps my muse happy, and I like to get the e-mails.  Thanks. Hope you enjoy this installment.</p>
    </blockquote>





	V7 - Misguided

**Author's Note:**

> There are a few spoilers here, although I usually just assume everyone has seen the series or has at least read the episode rewrites. So, spoilers for canon TS: Killers. I also make reference to several of the stories listed under the "My Sentinel Universe" heading on my main TS fic page. The Vet storyline follows the MSU storyline at least up until and including "Qualifying.(these stories are not yet up on AOOO, you can find them on my website) So assume anything that happened in those stories occurred in this AU. And although this series may have started out life as a MarySue, I think Jenny has grown beyond that. She certainly has no problem telling me what to write. I do have to admit to a MaryFido and two MaryFluffys though.
> 
> Remember to let me know what you liked or didn't like about the story when you're done reading. Feedback keeps my muse happy, and I like to get the e-mails. Thanks. Hope you enjoy this installment.

Vet Series

Part 7

Misguided

January 24, 2004 (edited May 9, 2007)

~~~~~~~~

Jim jogged up the stairs to the loft extending his hearing as he went. He'd seen Jenny's truck in the parking lot just like every other night this week and wanted to gauge the current conversation before he joined them.

Blair was still on half days this week, giving his busted ribs a chance to heal. Jim's injuries had been minor and the doctor had released him back to work on Monday.

That first week after Jenny and Blair's kidnapping, Jim and Jen had tried to spend as much time together as possible in an almost frantic attempt to get to know each other better. They'd soon realized, with a little help from Blair, that they were being foolish.

This week Jim had come home every night to find Jen and Blair deep in conversation. Blair had jumped on the chance to talk to someone with a medical background about Sentinels. So far they'd covered things from his sensitivities to certain medications to the possibility of the pitter-patter of little Sentinels in the loft.

Jim shook his head as he opened the door catching a whiff of dinner and the smell of dog just before the little terrier bounced against his leg demanding attention. He closed the door and knelt to give Dreamer a good scrub. "They driving you crazy yet, kiddo?" he asked softly.

Dreamer sat and tilted her head looking for all the world as if she was considering his question. Jim shook his head again. At least Dreamer's hair was shorter than Blair's. What is the world coming to? He snorted in amusement as he took stock of the changes in his life.

Six years ago he never would have dreamed that he'd have an anthropologist/hippie as a roommate and partner. And now his girlfriend was discussing Sentinels with that partner and bringing her dog into his loft. Getting soft Ellison. He smiled as he realized the two on the couch still didn't know he was here. Yeah, but isn't it great?

Jim walked over to the couch. "Don't let me interrupt."

Jen and Blair jumped and looked at him at the same time.

Blair smiled. "Hey, man. Everything go okay?"

Jim nodded, slightly preoccupied. Jenny had risen from the couch and moved into his arms. She slid her hands around the back of his neck and pulled him down for a welcoming kiss. When their lips parted Jim shook his head to clear it.

"Never mind what I said earlier. If that's the greeting I get, let me interrupt."

Jenny grinned and kissed him again.

Blair stood and went into the kitchen. "I'll just check on dinner."

Jim slung his arm over Jenny's shoulder. "So what was it you two were discussing so intently just now?"

"As if you didn't know," Blair tossed over his shoulder as he checked the vegetable stew.

Jim shared a grin with Jenny. "Yeah, well it pays to be prepared with you two."

Jenny leaned into Jim, one arm around his waist. "Blair was explaining about your animal spirit guides. We were trying to figure out what mine might be, if I have one," she concluded with a sly grin and a shrug.

The Sentinel had a sudden flash of a wolf and a Golden Retriever sitting side by side on the porch of the abandoned house where Tommy Brandon had held Blair and Jenny. He stiffened with the memory and looked down at Jen.

"I just remembered something," he said hesitating as both Blair and Jenny turned curious eyes on him. "When Simon and I were looking for you, I initially found you by listening. The other houses were empty so it was easy to pick up your heartbeats. When we got to the house I saw your wolf, Blair. It was sitting on the porch next to a Golden Retriever." Jim paused. "There wasn't any sign of a dog when we went in. And Simon didn't say anything about seeing one either."

Jenny frowned. "You think my spirit animal is a Golden Retriever?"

Jim shrugged. "It could be a coincidence."

"But why?" Jen asked, turning to Blair. "Why would I have a spirit animal?"

The Shaman shrugged. "Why not? There's no rule saying you have to be a Sentinel or Guide or some type of holy person to have an animal spirit guide. In fact, it's not uncommon for a person to have several different spirit animals over time depending on the changes going on in their life." Blair grabbed the bowls off the counter and motioned toward the stove. "Dinner's ready. I've got a few books you can borrow if you're interested, Jen."

"Thanks, Blair. I just might do that." She smiled. "I may never see it, but I'm curious about the kind of animal guide I've attracted."

They filled their bowls and sat at the table to eat.

"I don't know, Jen," Jim said seriously. "I would have guessed a terrier of some sort for you," he grinned mischievously. "Maybe a Jack Russell."

Jenny rolled her eyes. "Well, I guess we'll just never know how our guides are chosen. I mean you get a big black jaguar? I wouldn't have thought they were as stubborn as that."

Blair choked his eyes dancing with amusement as he wiped stew from his chin.

Jim pouted.

"Really, Jim," Jenny continued grinning evilly. "A mule maybe. Or an ox."

He pulled himself up indignantly. "I'm so glad you have such a high opinion of me." A grin quirked the corner of his mouth. "But if I'm a mule, then what's that make Sandburg?"

Jenny pursed her lips thoughtfully, staring at Blair who just grinned back at her. "Hmm. Either a chipmunk or a Blue jay. Something that makes a lot of noise all the time."

Jim laughed at the brief look of outrage that flashed across Blair's face only to be replaced by a calculating, yet totally unthreatening glare.

"I'll get you for that," Blair threatened shaking his spoon at her.

"Oooo, I'm scared," Jen chuckled

*******

Several weeks later

Jenny read the letter attached to the package. As she opened the package and pulled out a VHS tape, she recalled a conversation she'd had with Blair the week before.

"How did you end up as a detective, Blair?" Jenny asked.

They were sitting on the couch in the loft. Blair ducked his head briefly before meeting her eyes. "You want the long story or the short?"

Jen grinned. "Everything."

Blair smiled sadly and nodded. "Jim and I had been having a bit of a rough year. I was running myself ragged between teaching at Rainier, trying to finish my dis and helping Jim. There was that whole mess with Alex, and things were pretty stressed between us. Mostly I think we were both just trying to hold on and get through it. Whatever "it" was." Blair sighed.

"I finished the Sentinel dissertation the same day my Mom came to town. She was so happy for me, but of course I couldn't tell her it was too dangerous to publish. I'd put so much work into it, so much of my life… I just had to finish writing it. After that, well, it didn't matter much that it would never see the light of day. I'd already had a talk with my advisor about changing my subject to the closed societies piece.

My Mom didn't know about Jim though. I made it sound like the paper was a first draft and I wanted to proof it before letting her read it. Naomi was just trying to be helpful. She e-mailed the Sentinel paper to a publisher friend so he could proof read it and booster my confidence." Blair grinned sourly.

"She really had no idea what she would set in motion. The publisher called me and offered me a contract for the book. I told him no and insisted he destroy the copy he had. But Sid was determined. He released excerpts from the paper to the press. The next day they were all over Jim about his Sentinel abilities. He was in the middle of a huge case and couldn't get anything done. The assassin he was after got away because of the press.

I felt the fastest way to get a reprieve from the press coverage was to publicly discredit the paper." Blair shrugged. "It's not like I planned to turn it in anyway. And it worked. The press switched their focus from Jim to me. Jim was able to get Zeller and I ended up kicked out of the anthropology department."

He shifted on the couch and looked down at his hands. "Simon pulled some strings and I was offered a place with Major Crimes." Blair looked up at Jen again with a small grin. "It was not that big a change for me really. I'd been acting as Jim's partner since the beginning. The badge just made it official."

Jenny tilted her head. "No regrets? Don’t you miss being an anthropologist?"

"Not really. An anthropologist studies societies and the people in them. A detective studies societies and people as they relate to a crime. It's just a more immediate study, hours or days after the event instead of years or centuries."

Jenny fingered the tape then placed it into the VCR and pushed the play button. She'd wanted to see the video for some time, but kept putting off contacting her friend at the TV station. After talking to Blair, she knew there was more to the story than what he'd told her.

Jim had come in shortly after Blair finished his story that day. The two partners had made eye contact for a long moment before Blair smiled enigmatically. Jim had sighed and the three of them had gone on with the evening. However, both the men had remained somewhat subdued.

The next day it was as if nothing had happened.

Jenny watched the events of Blair's press conference and couldn't keep her tears from falling as he discredited not just the paper but himself as well. "Oh, Blair." The press conference ended and she continued to watch another segment that her friend had insisted was related.

This report had taken place some six months later and was little more than a blurb.

"Rainier University has reinstated Blair Sandburg whom you may recall was removed from the doctorate program in May due to supposedly submitting a fraudulent thesis on Sentinels, people with heightened senses. Rainier officials state that the Sentinel paper was never submitted and that Mr. Sandburg was wrongly discharged from the program. He will be allowed to submit his true thesis for review.

In other news…"

Jenny stopped the tape and looked back at the note in her hand. Her friend had also included a brief note regarding Berkshire Publishing. It seems they had settled with Mr. Sandburg out of court for using his works without permission.

So Blair offered up his life's work, career and good name to protect Jim. I think there's much more to this Sentinel/Guide thing than I thought. She ejected the tape and regarded it thoughtfully. At least Blair was redeemed, better late than never I suppose.

Later that evening Jen walked toward the loft door. It swung open before she could knock. Jenny grinned at Jim and returned his kiss as they moved into the room. She pulled back and looked around for Blair. He was just coming through the French doors to his room.

Jenny strode quickly to him and threw her arms around the stunned man. "Thank you," she whispered in his ear. Blair returned the hug and sent a wide-eyed confused look at Jim.

"You're welcome. What did I do?"

Jen stepped back with a shy smile. "Thank you for taking care of Jim. For being his friend."

Blair was even more confused now, then he saw Jenny mouth "for the press conference" and he understood what she meant.

Jim watched Jenny and Blair with his own confusion written all over his face. "Mind letting me in on the secret?" he asked, moving a bit closer to them.

Jenny turned to face Jim mischief making her blue eyes dance. "Nope. It's between me and Blair," she said impishly.

Blair chuckled and shrugged when Jim tried to pin him down with a stare. "Can't argue with the lady, Jim. She's as stubborn as you are."

Jim snorted. "I'm going to have to pay more attention to what you two are talking about from now on."

Jen wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned into him. "You could always join us."

"Mmmm," Jim denied. "Then I'd just have two of you testing me. No thanks," he said warmly tucking Jen under one arm.

"Guess you'll just have to keep wondering then," Jenny teased winking at Blair.

*****

A couple weeks later

Jim raced up the stairs behind his partner. Blair was moving fast toward the comfort offered by the loft. The crime scene they'd just left had been horrific. Even with his years of experience, Ellison was hard pressed to remember a scene as bad as this one.

They'd been the first on the scene, so no one had been able to prepare them. Even from the front door, the smell of blood had almost overwhelmed Jim's sense of smell. He'd paused slightly to get a handle on things and Blair had unknowingly gone ahead.

Jim had found his Guide in a mini-zone of his own, staring in horror at the slaughter before him. Somehow they'd made it through investigating the crime scene and with Simon's permission had come straight home.

The Sentinel entered the loft seconds behind his partner to see Blair standing on the balcony looking out over the city. Jim moved in close behind him and laid his arm over Blair's shoulders.

"Why, Jim? How could someone do that?" Blair whispered. His pale face contorted with pain and confusion.

"I don't know, Blair," Jim replied, feeling just as sick at heart. Murder was never easy to understand, but there was usually a "reasonable" motive. At least reasonable to the murderer. But this…

Blair turned toward Jim resting his forehead against Jim's shoulder. "Please," was all he said.

Jim nodded and eased himself and his Guide down until they were sitting on the patio floor. He backed up to lean against the wall and pulled Blair close as they entered the bond.

Blair's usual quicksilver was muted and sluggish with his agony. Jim felt his own grief mingle with his partner's, but together they could face it. Together they would deal with the pain and be able to heal.

In the jungle, Jim and Blair sat much as they did on the balcony. The panther and the wolf joined them, lying down on either side of the brothers.

~~~~~~

Jenny knocked on the door surprised that Jim hadn't already opened it to let her in. She'd seen both of their vehicles in the parking lot. A frown formed as she considered her options.

Maybe they were tired and went to bed early. Or Jim's in the shower and Blair's sleeping. Well, shoot. This isn't getting me anywhere. They gave you a key. That means you can use it if you need to. Still, it feels a bit like I'm intruding. She shrugged off her thoughts and stuck the key in the door. The handle turned easily, but Jen hesitated to open it. Oh, go on.

She slowly opened the door. "Jim? Blair?" There was no answer so she stepped inside and closed the door. The lights were off but the doors to the balcony were open. That's weird.

Jenny walked over to the balcony and reached for the doors to close them. She stopped when she saw Jim and Blair. What the? Jim sat with his back against the wall his knees bent holding Blair practically in his lap in a tight hug. Blair's head rested against Jim's chest, tucked so that his hair hid his face. Blair had his arms wrapped around Jim's left arm. Jim's head tilted forward to rest on the back of Blair's head.

"What?" she said in a strangled whisper trying to figure out what she was seeing. I don't understand this. Why hasn't Jim noticed that I'm here? He's a Sentinel for God's sake. He usually hears me before I'm even in the building. Right now it's like I'm not even here.

Jenny took a deep breath. Okay, calm down. Something is going on, it's something they haven't told you about. God! What are they doing? She turned and stalked back into the loft. I can't believe this! It's not what it looks like, Jen. You know Jim loves you. She stopped as she argued with herself. Yeah, so. He loves Blair too. That's pretty obvious. Oh, get real. They are so NOT gay. But then what is going on with them?

It's got to be some Sentinel thing. Jen turned in place to face the balcony again. Right. But what? Maybe there's a problem. God, what if they need help? She went back out and knelt beside them. "What should I do?" Jenny asked aloud, hoping that maybe her voice would reach them.

She gently laid one hand on the back of Jim's neck and the other on Blair's arm. A strange sensation went through her. For a second the image of a black panther, a wolf and a Golden Retriever flashed in her mind along with an overwhelming sadness.

Jenny found herself leaning into the two men as uncontrollable tears rolled down her face.

~~~~~~

The peace of the jungle surrounded the two brothers for a long time before the panther and the wolf both raised their heads. The wolf whined a greeting while the panther purred.

A Golden Retriever trotted over to the foursome. She touched noses with the wolf and nuzzled the panther before greeting the men. She whined sadly and leaned into them, resting her head between them.

Jim met Blair's eyes.

"Jenny?" Blair asked. Jim nodded.

"I think she's worried about us, Chief."

"Yeah, I'm doing better now." He gazed at his friend. "How about you?"

Jim inhaled deeply and nodded. "Me too. Guess it's time to get back to the real world."

He stood, being careful to let the dog get out of the way and then helped his Guide to his feet. Jim looked back down at Jenny's spirit animal one more time. "I guess that fits her better than I thought."

Blair grinned and nodded as the jungle faded.

~~~~~~~

They found themselves in a situation quite like that of the jungle. Jenny was resting her forehead on their entwined arms sobbing softly.

She sat back suddenly when they moved and wiped at her face trying to control the emotions that had hit her unexpectedly. Her wide blue eyes watched uncertainly as Blair and Jim moved apart and turned to face her, still sitting on the floor.

"Jen?" Jim said tentatively holding out a hand to her.

She bit her lip then scooted forward to take his hand and allowed herself to be pulled into a hug. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you. I wasn't sure if something was wrong and I didn't know what to do. And then when I touched you…" she hiccupped, "all of a sudden I felt so sad. I just started to cry and I didn't know why."

Blair frowned. "You felt sad? After you touched us?"

Jenny nodded, pulling out of Jim's hug enough to look at Blair. "I… well… first I saw a panther, a wolf and a Golden Retriever." She straightened and looked at Jim. "That was my spirit guide." He nodded. Jen focused her gaze on the floor for a second, then looked back at Blair. "Right after that a sense of profound sadness came over me. I don't know that I've felt anything like that since my grandmother died."

Blair shivered in the chill breeze and Jim herded them all back inside the loft. He went into the kitchen to make some tea content that Blair could handle the explanation.

Jenny settled on the couch while Blair paced in front of her. "You must have connected with us somehow and picked up on what we were feeling." He continued to pace as he considered the possibilities.

Jen watched Blair, her frustration building as she realized he'd forgotten about her. "Blair!" He looked up in surprise. "What were you doing?" Jenny asked, saying each word slowly and distinctly. "And why were you feeling so sad?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Jenny," he ran a hand through his hair and sat on the couch beside her. "We had a really bad case come up. The crime scene was… well, I don't even want to think about it." Blair looked over at Jim catching his reassuring glance.

"It really hit us both hard. I know I've never seen anything that comes close to it, even Jim was shaken and he's seen a lot more than I have." Blair took a deep breath and exhaled noisily as Jim brought them both a cup of chamomile tea. "Thanks, Jim," Blair said, taking the cup.

Jenny took hers and held it carefully as Jim settled onto the couch beside her. With one of them on each side, she once again felt as if she were intruding.

"Okay, so I understand the sad part, what I don't understand is what you were doing," she waved a hand toward the balcony, "out there and why I felt sad when I touched you."

Blair and Jim exchanged a long look while Jenny felt she was caught in a tennis match as she tried to observe both of them, turning her head one way then the next. Finally she stood and spun to face them, frustration written in every line of her body.

"Fine! I understand if you don't want to tell me, just say you don't want to tell me though. Don't make me guess!" She glared at both of them and stomped toward the door. I don't know what's going on here, but if they won't tell me… Damn! I just need to know what happened, if I can understand… But can I accept what they tell me? What if there really are things about this Sentinel thing that I don’t want to know? What if… no, no, I don't believe that…

Jim grabbed her arm as she reached for the doorknob. "Jenny, wait."

She turned to face him. "Jim. I thought I could handle it. I know that there are some things you can't tell me, but I really can't…" Jenny stopped and closed her eyes breathing deeply as she tried to organize her thoughts.

When she opened them Jim could see the turmoil in her heart. He brushed a curl back from her face. "Tell me."

Jen took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. "Your relationship with Blair is unique and obviously very close. But it affects me too, and I really need to know how it will affect me." She watched him with a worried frown.

Jim frowned and glanced at Blair before looking back at Jenny. My relationship with Blair? What… oh! He rolled his eyes and gently guided her back to the couch. "Jen, let us explain. First, Blair is my best friend, my partner, my Guide and my brother. Brother as in sibling, except that there's no blood connection." He caught her eye.

"We are family and I need to have him near to keep me balanced, but we are not and never have been together…"

Blair snorted. "What he's trying to say, Jen, is that we don't have a sexual relationship. We do tend to do a lot more touching than most male friends. A Sentinel's sense of touch demands it, it's part of how he relates to the world, keeps track of his Guide and such. We've even had times where we've slept together," Blair grinned evilly at Jim who bopped him on the head. "But only in the most literal sense of the word."

Jim interrupted. "A Sentinel and Guide are connected by more than the duty to help each other and protect the tribe." He watched her closely as he continued. "There's a spiritual bond, the animal spirits are a part of that, but the bond itself links us, we need each other to be whole."

Blair continued. "What you saw was what we call bonding. It's a way we communicate mind to mind, or maybe more soul to soul, but usually only when we have to share something too big for words. I've never found any written information about the bonding experience. We've just sort of figured it out all on our own. But as far as we can tell, it's a natural and necessary part of being a Sentinel and Guide. It helps us heal our spirits."

Jenny stood and walked over to the window. Okay. That is not what I was expecting. But is it better or worse? A spiritual connection that allows them to share intimate thoughts. I need to think about this. How can I possibly compete with that? She turned back to face them. "I need some time to think about this," Jen said softly, looking first at Blair then letting her gaze linger on Jim.

Jim swallowed hard and nodded. She can't accept this. It's too much to ask any woman to accept. "Are you leaving?"

She nodded as she walked over to him. Jen place a tender kiss on Jim's cheek. "I'll call you," then she picked up her purse and left.

Jim leaned forward elbows on his knees his hands covering his face. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Jim, she'll be back. She loves you, man."

"Blair, if the woman you loved told you she was spiritually bonded to another woman, how would you feel?" he looked at his Guide.

Blair stared at Jim searching his heart for the true answer to that question. "I honestly don't know Jim."

They stared at each other in dismay.

~~~~~~

Two weeks later

Simon walked into the bullpen happily sipping his café late with extra cream.

"Dammit, Ellison!" Connor said loudly. "Who put a bug up your arse?"

Jim stalked away from Connor's desk, grumbling under his breath. "Damn Aussie…"

"Good morning, Jim," Simon said as Ellison practically ran over him as he passed.

The grunt he received in return could hardly be considered language. Banks turned questioning eyes on Sandburg who shrugged and mouthed "later."

Great. And here I thought it was going to be a good day. Simon continued to his office after shooting a warning glare at Megan to chill out. He closed the door and tried to recapture the calm he'd been enjoying.

~~~~~~

Blair watched Jim covertly from his desk. It had been a slow but steady change that was now spiraling out of control. Jim hadn't spoken about Jenny since that night and he had dismissed Blair's advice that he should call her.

They'd made huge advances in communication over the last several years and it had only taken one short evening to rebuild the dam. Jim was shoring up his defenses in anticipation of a major blow and in doing so was cutting himself off from the people who could help him.

Typical, Ellison. Blair frowned. Jim's temper had gotten shorter and shorter over the last two weeks and along with it his ability to take anything lightly. When Megan had suggested he might be in need of a "good time," Jim had blown his top. Poor Megan hadn't realized she was dealing with the pre-dis-fiasco Ellison. Neither did I.

To top it all off, Jim was having more trouble with his senses than Blair had seen in a long time. Sometimes everything was working fine then his hearing would go weird or his sight. Several times Jim had had episodes of numbness in his hands or feet. And forget trying to get him to eat properly, everything tasted funny. It's like when Danny was killed. He's blocking his senses by bottling up his emotions. Blair sighed.

This is crazy. If Jim won't go talk to Jenny, then I will. Surely she's had enough time to think this through. I don't think any of us can take much more of this. Blair shook his head as he watched his friend stomp out of the bullpen to pick up some files in Records.

~~~~~~~

Simon saw Jim leave the bullpen. He stood and opened the door. "Blair," Banks said softly tilting his head in an invitation for the young detective to come into his office.

With the door closed Simon leaned against his desk and asked the question. "What's up with Jim?"

Blair sat sighing noisily. "Jenny's having a little trouble with a few Sentinel issues. They haven't seen each other in about two weeks."

Banks removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "Damn. I really thought she would be the one."

"I'm not ready to count Jenny out yet Simon. You know how weirded out you get by some of this stuff, just imagine how it would be to be involved with a Sentinel."

Simon's eyes narrowed as he tried to put himself in Jenny's place and couldn't. "Whew. I guess it's only reasonable to expect some rough spots."

Blair nodded. "I've been trying to figure out a better way to explain everything. I mean, eventually I hope to find that special woman myself, and I'll have to tell her too." He met Simon's eyes with consternation.

"I don't really know what to tell you Blair. The old platitude goes along the lines of "if they really love you…""

Blair waved his hand dismissively. "We both know love takes effort and a commitment from both sides to work. Love itself isn't enough."

Simon nodded. "Anything I can do to help?"

Sandburg shook his head. "I don't think so." He stood to leave. "But I'll let you know."

~~~~~~~

Jenny closed her front door and turned around to lean on it. God I'm tired. It had been a hectic day at the clinic. She'd seen a lot of patients and two of them were currently spending the night at the hospital. But besides that she just felt drained.

The last two weeks had been very difficult. Jen had spent hours every night when she should be sleeping trying to untangle her feelings about Jim. I miss him. But that wasn't a good enough reason to continue seeing him. She needed to know in her heart that no matter what his life threw at her she could accept it.

His being a Sentinel is really only a small part of it. First and foremost, Jim Ellison is a cop. His job is dangerous and someday he might not come home. I have to be able to live with that knowledge. Not let it eat me alive. The same with this Sentinel business. It sounds like he and Blair are still learning new things about how their partnership works. I need to be able to handle whatever comes. I told Jim I loved him and that I would accept his being a cop and a Sentinel and Blair's friend as a part of who he is.

It's just not fair to go any further if I really can't do that.

Jenny sighed and pushed away from the door. She checked her messages and allowed a small grin to form on her lips. Blair had left a message telling her how much Jim missed her and that they both understood her need for time to process.

The other message was from Mike. Must have just missed her. Better call her tonight or she'll be on the next plane to Cascade.

She deleted the messages and looked down at her pets. Grey, Farli and Dreamer all sat at her feet waiting patiently. "So what do you girls think?" They all stood, the cats headed for the kitchen and their dinner bowls. Dreamer gave a little woof and spun in place before following the cats.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Jen said, following the animals. "If only my life were that easy." She opened the cupboard where their food was stored and began to dish out the kibble. "Wish I could offer unconditional love. As long as he fed me, kept a roof over my head and scratched behind my ears periodically."

Jen snorted derisively. Like I'd ever let a man treat me that way. I want so much more. Jim can give you that, her heart said. I need someone who respects me and understands that I have interests of my own. That sometimes I just need to be alone. Jim does all that too, the little voice said. And I want someone who isn't afraid to share himself with me and let me do the same. Uh, huh. And what do you think he was doing the other day?

"Damn," Jenny whispered. "Why do I have to make things so complicated?" She sighed and sat down at the kitchen table idly tracing the patterns in the wood surface with her finger. So what exactly is it that is bugging me?

She grabbed the notepad she used to make grocery lists and started to write.

Cop. Okay, I knew that going in. And I'm pretty sure I can handle that. I know there are risks, but chances are higher that he'd be killed in a car accident than on the job. Heck, I'm not a cop and look where I ended up a couple months ago.

Sentinel. Yeah, that was a surprise, but the enhanced senses themselves are not a big deal. Something to acknowledge and be careful of, but not a threat to the relationship.

Blair. He's Jim's best friend and partner and Guide. I am beginning to understand how their relationship works, but I wonder if I'll ever truly know all of it. Maybe they don't even know. Jim said they were like brothers. I noticed that myself. Actually they seem closer than most brothers, more like twins. Okay, fraternal twins, but that may be a better comparison.

All right, let's go with that. They're as close as twins, even have that extra "connection." If they really were twins, it would hardly be fair of me to be upset about that "connection." Jenny frowned at the paper then made two bold lines across it under Blair's name.

Love. Do I love Jim?

Jen closed her eyes and pictured the tall, dark, handsome man who had been invading her dreams for the last few months. His blue eyes crinkled with amusement and a soft smile curved his lips. She opened her eyes and exhaled.

"Yeah, I do." Jenny put a big check mark beside the word and lay the pencil on the table. She glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed again. It was almost 8pm. "Better go check on my patients and call Mike. Maybe she'll have some helpful ideas."

~~~~~~~

The Golden Retriever whined as it ran through the jungle. Finally she broke through to a clearing and saw the wolf lying on its side. She nuzzled the gray one, he was alive but didn't respond. The dog sat and howled. An anguished scream sounded in the distance and she took off running in that direction. Got to find him. Got to help. I'm coming, I'm coming.

Jenny sat up in bed, fear from the dream making her heart beat loudly in her ears. The clock by the bed glowed 3:47am. Dreamer and Grey slept on beside her. Farli opened her eyes briefly then went back to sleep.

Jen shook her head and thought about the dream. It was as if I was the Retriever. Blair's spirit guide is the wolf. Where was Jim's panther then? I don't think Blair was hurt, but the cat screamed! She swung her legs down from the bed and stood grabbing her robe as she headed downstairs.

She dialed all but the last number then hung up the phone. "This is crazy." It was just a dream. Probably had it because of all the soul searching I did last night. The dog is looking for the panther because I was trying to find my way back to Jim. Jen sat on the couch barely noticing that the three animals had followed her and were now sitting beside her. She absently petted Grey.

Does this mean that subconsciously I know I should be with Jim? Damn. I wish I'd been able to get hold of Mike. The downstairs clock ticked over to 4:03am. "She might be getting home about now if she was on the late shift. Can't remember this week's schedule…" Jen mumbled as she retrieved the phone and went back to the couch.

She dialed Mike's number and silently asked her friend to forgive her for the early morning call.

" 'Lo," a tired voice answered.

"Mike? It's Jenny."

"Jen? What's wrong? It must be… what about 4am there?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"

"No, I just got off my shift. Can you believe?"

"Why do you put up with that, Mike? Can't you talk to the Captain or someone? You should have more than enough seniority," Jenny said frustration for her friend's situation clear in her voice.

"Not to worry, Jen. I've been thinking about transferring, I just need a little more time. But don't get off track. Why did you call me this time of the morning?"

Jen sighed. "You won't believe it."

"Try me."

"I had a dream," Jen paused suddenly realizing she couldn't tell Mike the truth about Jim. "You know Blair, Jim's partner?"

"Um hm," Mike responded.

"Well, he's into a lot of new age stuff and he's determined our animal spirits…"

"Jen, what's this got to do with the dream?"

"I'm getting to it. Anyway, mine is a Golden Retriever…"

"I coulda told you that," Mike mumbled.

"What was that, Mikey?"

"Never mind, Jen, go on."

"Well, Blair is a gray wolf and Jim is a black jaguar. In my dream the dog was running through the jungle looking for something. I found the wolf. He was asleep or drugged or something. I couldn't get him to wake up. Then the jaguar screamed and the dog took off looking for him. But I couldn't find him. Then I woke up."

"Sorta sounds like some of my dreams, Jen," Mike replied softly.

"Yeah, I know. But what does it mean?"

"You still haven't made a decision about Jim have you?"

"No, not really. I was thinking about it this evening. I thought maybe that's why I had the dream. But I was afraid in the dream too."

"I don't know, Jenny. If it was me, I'd be worried, but you've never had a dream like this before. I think maybe your brain is just on overload, girl. You need to get a good night's sleep and then do the first thing your heart tells you in the morning."

Jenny grinned. "Are you a fortune teller now too, Mikey?"

Mike grinned on her end. "Didn't I tell you? My great grandma was a gypsy fortuneteller. Woulda been rich if she'd only "seen" her no good second husband running off with the family fortune."

Jen and Mike chuckled together, then Mike yawned.

"Look, Jen. I've got to get to sleep."

"I'm sorry, Mikey. Thanks for listening. Go to bed, I'll talk to you this weekend."

"G'night, Jen."

"Night," Jen hung up the phone and leaned her head back against the couch. Sleep and follow my heart, huh? I can do that.

*****

A little before noon the next day.

"Come on Sandburg," Jim called from the door to Major Crimes. "We've got a lead on those robbery suspects."

Blair stood and followed his partner to the elevator. Jim pushed the button for the garage and growled when Sandburg overrode the decision. Blair just glared back. "Vests, Jim. Does "armed and dangerous" ring a bell?" Ellison grunted and they went to collect their vests before heading out.

~~~~~~

"Anything?" Blair asked watching Jim pinch the bridge of his nose.

"No, I can't pick up anything," the Sentinel admitted.

"Relax, Jim," Blair replied softly putting a hand on Ellison's arm. "Close your eyes and focus on your hearing. Listen to my voice, filter out all the other noises. That's it, now concentrate on the house and tell me what you hear."

Fine lines of concentration wrinkled Jim's forehead as he listened. After a few minutes he opened his eyes. "There're three of them in there. Sounds like they're going to be heading out soon with the loot."

"Great! Good job Jim. I'll call for backup." Blair got on the radio and requested assistance while Jim watched the house.

They didn't have long to wait. Within ten minutes the suspects pulled out of the garage in a late model silver Camero. Jim followed them and Blair advised the station.

~~~~~~~

"I think they spotted us Jim," Blair said, grabbing onto the door handle as Jim sped up to stay with the suspects.

"What gave you that idea, Darwin?" Jim asked sarcastically, giving most of his attention to the fleeing car.

Blair rolled his eyes and got on the radio again to update their position. "Should be getting some help here soon," he said softly.

Jim nodded with a grunt.

The Camero was swerving dangerously in and out of traffic. Jim followed as safely as possible. As they approached the Davidson Bridge Jim yelled out a suggestion.

"Shoot the tires, Sandburg!"

"What?" Blair asked disbelieving.

"If they continue like this on the bridge someone's gonna get killed. Backup won't be able to help until we get across. Shoot out a tire."

"All right, all right," Blair grumbled as he rolled down the window and prepared his weapon. Under his breath he continued, "Just 'cause some of us are Sentinels with 20/100 vision, he thinks it's easy to shoot out a tire on a moving vehicle from another moving vehicle. Geesh!"

Blair took aim and fired. The first shot missed the tire hitting the trunk.

"A little lower Sandburg."

"Naw, really Jim?"

He aimed again and was surprised when the bullet hit the tire. It blew and the driver lost control for a second. The Camero spun 180 degrees and stopped just shy of hitting the cement rail of the bridge.

Jim slammed on the brakes and was out of the truck before Blair regained his balance. Sandburg jumped out of the truck holstering his weapon as he raced to the passenger side door of the Camero. All three men in the car appeared a bit shaken.

"Get out of the car with your hands up," Jim commanded, keeping his hand near his holstered gun.

The guys in the front seat slowly opened their doors and stepped wobbly out of the car. The third guy had to wait to get out of the two-door vehicle.

The passenger stumbled, one hand holding his head and Blair reached for his arm to help. The perp lunged at Blair and forced him back away from the car toward the edge of the bridge.

Jim saw the attack from the corner of his eye, but had his hands full as his perp decided to try the same move. The Sentinel had anticipated it though and simply stepped to one side. The driver fell to the ground and Jim grabbed an arm to cuff him.

The click of a weapon being readied caught his attention as Jim finished cuffing the driver. He turned following the sound and saw that the third suspect had a gun aimed at Blair.

"Sandburg!" Jim shouted, drawing his weapon and moving for the car at the same time.

Blair was still struggling with the passenger. At that moment they pushed away from each other and a shot fired. Blair staggered back as the bullet hit him in the chest, thankfully covered by his bulletproof vest.

Jim's sigh of relief was short-lived though. The suspect Blair had been tussling with took the opportunity to rush him again. He tackled Blair like a linebacker and pushed him up against the cement railing. Jim heard the air whoosh out of Sandburg from the hit. The perp straightened and aimed a right hook at Blair's chin.

Blair somehow managed to block most of the punch but was over balanced by the attack and suddenly found himself going over the edge.

"No!" Jim cried, racing for his partner. He saw fear as Blair's eyes met his briefly and heard his strangled cry, "Jim!" and then Blair disappeared over the side of the bridge.

The third perp had already exited the car and was running back down the bridge the way they'd come. The passenger took one look at Jim's distraught face and decided he'd live longer if he were on another planet. He raced away as Jim made it to the edge of the bridge.

Oh God! Please be all right Blair. Please. Jim's breath caught in his throat as he leaned over the rail and saw his brother sprawled on the pavement about twenty feet below. His vision went dark and suddenly Jim couldn't hear anything but his own breathing. He blinked and shook his head to clear his vision.

He was sorry he did. Jim's hearing was still out, but his eyes focused in on the too pale face and the blood pooled near Blair's head. The coppery scent of too much blood filled Jim's nose.

Jim staggered back. No heartbeat. Dead? His stomach churned and he threw up on the bridge. Blair's dead! Jim felt the world around him get smaller, fuzzy and dim. He killed my friend! My brother. My Guide. Suddenly things got ultra clear. He killed the Guide. Find him! Jim lifted his head, his eyes a deep amber. The Sentinel sniffed the air, easily catching the scent of the killers. He took off at a dead run after the man who had killed his Guide.

*******

Officers Richard and Taylor responded to Sandburg's request for backup. They knew and respected Ellison and Sandburg and so had no reason to stall. They'd even shared a few beers with the detective team. To be truthful though, they knew the pair's record and didn't expect to be needed. Both officers figured they'd find all the perps handcuffed while Ellison and Sandburg argued over the pros and cons of high-speed chases or some such.

So Richard and Taylor were surprised when they arrived at the scene to see Ellison and then Sandburg just getting out of the old blue and white Ford. The uniformed officers had to leave their car to maneuver through the traffic jam caused by the spun out Camero. Taylor called in the situation as they jogged toward Ellison and Sandburg.

The events played out quickly before the officers could reach them. Sandburg's perp tackled him while Ellison managed to evade his suspect and get him cuffed. Neither Richard nor Taylor could say that they saw the third perp with a weapon in the Camero, but they saw Ellison turn his head that direction and yell "Sandburg!" in warning.

The sound of a shot fired had both officers drawing their weapons as they drew closer. Sandburg was wearing his flack jacket, thank goodness, but was then knocked back by the suspect he'd been fighting.

Officer Richard winced at Ellison's screamed denial as they all watched helplessly while Sandburg tumbled over the edge of the bridge. Richard headed for the railing waving at Taylor to call it in. He never saw Ellison after that, too intent on getting to Sandburg.

Taylor called for an ambulance and rescue crew. He reached Ellison just as the older detective threw up. Taylor saw the third perp leave the car and then Ellison took off after the guy who had pushed Sandburg over the side. Taylor advised the other units that the suspects were on foot, gave a description of each and which way they were headed before he leaned over the rail and called down to his partner.

Richard had hopped over the rail landing on the embankment about three feet down. The incline was a bit steep and he had to maneuver around several guide wires and assorted trees but was able to make it down the slope fairly quickly.

He caught his breath looking up briefly to judge the distance of Sandburg's fall. About twenty feet straight down. Richard grimaced and knelt to check for a pulse. He didn't hold out much hope, blood had pooled near Sandburg's right shoulder. He straightened suddenly.

"Well I'll be damned!" He could feel a pulse, a bit weak, but there and Sandburg seemed to be breathing all right too. Richard looked up at the sound of his name. Taylor was leaning over the rail. "He's alive!" Richard shouted up to his partner. "Get that ambulance here ASAP and bring me a blanket and the first aid kit."

Taylor took off and Richard set about doing a little first aid. Upon closer inspection he discovered that the blood was actually from a long deep slice on the under side of Sandburg's right arm, there were also bad gashes on both of his hands.

He felt gently around Sandburg's skull, but couldn't find any large bumps or bleeding. Using his handkerchief, Richard bound the wound on Sandburg's arm temporarily to stem the bleeding.

~~~~

During the next fifteen minutes, Taylor returned with the blanket and first aid kit, reporting that a unit was upstairs taking care of Ellison's handcuffed perp. The ambulance and Captain Banks as well as several other Major Crime detectives showed up at the same time.

The paramedics loaded Sandburg onto the gurney and the good-looking Aussie inspector rode with him to the hospital. Sandburg had not regained consciousness.

Captain Banks turned to Richard and Taylor as the ambulance drove away. "I need a report gentlemen."

The officers filled Banks in and waited for him to dismiss them.

"Well, where the hell is Ellison?" Banks growled.

Both officers looked at each other and then back at Banks as they shrugged.

******

Scent. There. Killed the Guide. Follow. Find. Kill.

*****

Jenny paced her office. Ring, dammit! She'd finished her morning appointments distractedly after leaving a message on Jim's cell phone. Now she just wanted to set up a time so that they could talk. Melissa had cleared the afternoon for her, but it was necessary for Jim to call back so that they could use that free time.

Maybe he's on a case and doesn't have time. She looked at the clock. Almost one. I can call Rhonda, she'd know. Jenny was dialing the phone before she finished the thought. The idea of spending one more day estranged from Jim was killing her.

"Major Crime, may I help you."

"Rhonda! It's Jenny Watkins. Could you put me in touch with Jim? Or is he busy on a case? I really need to talk to him." Jenny said in a rush.

"Jenny! Ah, hold on a second, would you?"

Jen nodded distractedly as the phone clicked and she was put on hold. She nibbled at a cuticle as she waited. The line came back a bit staticky.

"Jenny?" Simon Banks' voice asked.

"Simon? I was trying to reach Jim." Jen gasped. "What's wrong? Is he hurt?"

"No. Well, I don't think so, but Blair's at Cascade General and Jim is missing."

"Oh my God! What happened? No, never mind. I… Who's with Blair?"

"Megan."

Jenny paced as she considered her options. What would Jim want me to do? Well that's easy, check on Blair. "Um, Simon? I'm going to go to the hospital, would you let me know as soon as you hear anything about Jim?"

"Of course. I'll be by the hospital as soon as I get things going here."

"Thanks, bye." She ended the call, grabbed her purse and ran for the door.

*******

Where? Too many smells. Find. Avenge the Guide.

*******

Megan sat in the waiting room. She'd given up pacing several minutes ago after running into a third person. Now she watched the door to the room Sandy had been wheeled into.

Connor popped out of the chair when the door opened and was standing in front of the doctor before he got five feet from the door. "How is he, doctor?" she asked frantically.

"Well, for having fallen twenty feet off a bridge, surprisingly well." The doctor shook his head. "I get the feeling we're missing part of the story, but Detective Sandburg is still unconscious so we'll just have to wait to hear it." He looked around frowning. "Where's Detective Ellison?"

Megan sighed. "We're not sure. What is Sandy's condition?"

"Well, he does have a concussion, but no skull fractures. He also has a deep laceration under his right arm as well as gashes on both hands. It looks to me like he caught himself on something. The bruises on the rest of his body make it likely that he rolled over several times."

"So he's going to be okay?" Megan asked with relief.

"Well, he's lost a bit of blood and we're taking him to repair the lacerations, but yes, I believe he'll be fine."

"Oh, thank God!" Megan took a deep breath. "And thank you, doctor." She stuck her hand out to shake his.

He grasped her hand in return and smiled. "No problem. I'll have someone keep you up to date. It'll probably be a couple of hours before you can see him."

Connor nodded and pulled out her cell phone as the doctor left.

"Banks."

"Captain, it's Connor. I just spoke to Sandy's doctor and he's going to be all right. They're taking him into surgery now to repair the cuts he has, but somehow he landed on his feet again."

"Ouch, Connor."

"Sorry, sir," she replied meekly. "The doctor seems to think he might have caught onto something and then rolled. Are you still at the scene?"

"Yeah. Let me look." Simon went over to the edge of the bridge where Richard and Taylor said Blair had gone over. Below him on the pavement he could still see the pool of Sandburg's blood, but just within the trajectory Sandburg would have taken over the edge was a wire guideline about one inch around.

Simon exhaled. "Yeah, Connor, there's a guide wire he could have caught onto, it leads back toward the start of the bridge." Banks nodded to himself squinting to see if he could trace Blair's path. "If he slid along the wire for even just a few feet that would have dramatically decreased his drop and then it looks like a clear shot down the slope to where we found him."

Megan nodded. "Well, not that it matters exactly how Sandy managed it, but it's nice to know there was a way."

Simon grunted. "At least this way we're not trapped in the Sandburg Zone. There is a logical explanation."

"Any luck finding Jim?"

"No. Several units saw him run off the other end of the bridge, but didn't really pay attention. They were looking for the perps, not Ellison."

"Great! Just bloody great!"

"Yeah. Well, we caught the shooter at least, but the guy that pushed Blair is MIA along with Jim."

"I can't believe Jim left Sandy down there alone, Captain."

Simon pinched the bridge of his nose. "Me either. I'm afraid he might think Blair is dead."

"Oh, God!"

"Yeah. And if that's the case, we need to find the suspect before Jim does."

"Well, don't let me keep you, Simon. I'll call you when Sandy's out of surgery."

"Good. Do me a favor and call Rhonda so she can let the others know about Sandburg. Oh and Megan, Jenny's on her way there."

"Right. Thanks Captain."

They both hung up.

*****

No! Where? Where? Got to find him! Sob. Blair?

*****

Jenny rushed through the ER doors and saw Megan sitting with her head leaned back against the wall her eyes closed.

"Megan?" Jen asked, taking the seat beside the Aussie woman.

"Jenny. Captain Banks said you were coming."

Jen nodded. "How's Blair?"

"Pretty good considering he took a header off a bridge," Megan said scrubbing her face with one hand.

"My God," Jenny sobbed.

"Oh, no! Jenny, he's going to be fine," Megan clarified, squeezing Jenny's shoulder comfortingly. "Somehow that Sandburgian luck kicked in. From his injuries we think he managed to catch onto a guide wire and land on the slope. He took a long tumble, but only ended up with a few lacerations, bumps, bruises and a concussion."

"Thank goodness!" Jenny sighed, sitting back in the chair. She frowned. "So where's Jim?"

Megan shrugged. "We're not sure. He took off after the perp that pushed Sandy. No one's heard from him."

Jenny stared at the Aussie. "How long?"

Connor blinked and looked at her watch. "Almost an hour ago, I'd say." She frowned, wondering if she should say more.

"What is it Megan?" Jenny asked. She looked around then leaned closer to Connor. "You know that I know, right?"

Megan nodded and made a decision. "Simon and I think that Jim might believe Sandy is dead. I mean, why else would he leave Sandy alone like that? I've only seen him abandon Sandy once before and the result wasn't pretty. Sandy said it was the primal Sentinel in control then, not Jim."

Jenny's eyes widened. Oh no! This is not good. What is going on in Jim's head right now? Blair said that sometimes the Sentinel goes on automatic, especially in times of extreme stress. I think this would qualify. Damn! Is Jim even in control right now?

Megan watched the wheels spinning as Jenny processed what she'd said.

Finally Jen met Megan's eyes. "Megan, I've got to find Jim. I… I think you're right, he may be deep in Sentinel mode. I don't know if I can reach him, but I doubt anyone else except maybe Simon could if he's gone primal on us."

Connor worried her lower lip and nodded. "You're probably right. I might be able to, but Jim's avoided working with me whenever possible. I might make things worse."

Jenny frowned. "Why?"

"They think I could be a Guide and Jim feels uncomfortable working with me instead of Sandy."

Jen lifted an eyebrow. "Wow. Okay, well, stay with Blair," she dug a business card out of her wallet and gave it to Megan. "Here's my cell phone number. Call me when he's out of surgery. The more information I have for Jim the better." She looked around thoughtfully. "Any chance I can get something of Blair's to take with me?"

Megan's eyebrows disappeared under her bangs. "Good idea." She rose from her seat and went to the nurse's station. She came back and handed Jenny a portion of Blair's shirt.

"Great," Jen replied taking the scrap and placing in a plastic baggie. "Now, where was Jim last seen?"

"He was headed north on the Davidson Bridge."

~~~

Minutes later Jenny was driving toward the Davidson Bridge with a piece of Blair's flannel shirt tucked in a plastic bag which was firmly shoved into her pant's pocket. "Hang on, Jim. I'm coming."

******

Noise! Bright! Bad smells! Guide? Where? Blair? help

*******

Simon strode into the waiting room and went straight over to where Connor was sitting. He motioned for her to remain seated and took the chair beside her. "How's he doing?"

"Should be out of surgery any time now, sir. Any word on Ellison?"

"No. I've got an APB out on him and the suspect with orders to report Jim's location to me as soon as he's seen."

"Jenny went out to try and find him," Megan said wearily.

Simon nodded. "I figured she would. I hope she can reach him."

~~~~~~~

Jenny drove slowly around the area north of the bridge hoping that somehow she might luck out and catch a glimpse of Jim. She'd already been looking for almost two hours. Don't know what you expected Watkins. She grunted in disgust. Thought you might see your spirit guide maybe? Or Jim's? Jen sighed. It didn't appear she would be getting any help from the spirit world so good old fashioned footwork would have to do.

~~~~~~~

The doctor nodded. "He'll be a bit groggy from the anesthesia, but you can go in and see him now."

"Thank you, doctor. And you're sure he's going to be all right?" Simon asked.

"Yes, sir. Like I said, it's a minor concussion. Detective Sandburg will be sore from the lacerations and bruises for a while. Otherwise he was extremely lucky."

Simon nodded as the doctor took his leave. Megan and the Captain went to Blair's room. A nurse was taking notes on his chart when they entered. She smiled at them.

"He should be waking up soon. Might be a little confused from the combination of concussion and anesthesia. You can page the nurse's station if there's a problem. I'll be checking on him every fifteen minutes." She took the chart and with a final smile left the room.

Simon motioned for Megan to take a seat and pulled up a chair of his own.

"Don't you think you should be looking for Jim?" Megan asked as she sat down.

"It won't do any good for me to wander the city. Until we know where he is I might as well wait here. Maybe Sandburg will have an idea when he wakes up."

"I hope so."

******

The panther screamed its anguish then curled up within the cave. hurts… blair… no more… please…

******

Blair could hear voices. He heard them mention his name and Jim's but he couldn't make his eyes open. He struggled against the lassitude and finally managed to get his eyes to open.

"Blair?" Simon said seeing Sandburg's eyes flutter open. "You with us kid?"

"S'm'n," Blair slurred turning his head slightly.

"Hey Sandy," Megan said.

"Jim?" Blair asked licking his lips against the dryness.

"Ah, he's still looking for one of the robbery suspects," Simon answered truthfully.

"'kay," Blair said, losing the battle to stay awake.

Megan sighed. "You realize the next time he wakes up we'll have to tie him to the bed, don’t you?"

Banks nodded. "I'm going to check in with the station and try to reach Jenny." He left the room, pulled out his cell phone and hit the speed dial for Major Crimes.

"Major Crimes, may I help you?"

"Rhonda. This is Captain Banks. I need an update."

"Yes, sir. Captain Taggert faxed a picture of Detective Ellison to all the squad cars. So far no one's seen him. Hold on, Captain."

Simon paced as he waited wondering what had happened to interrupt his call.

"Simon?" Joel Taggert asked.

"Joel. What's going on?"

"The suspect that pushed Blair off the bridge just gave himself up to a PD unit. Seems he was being followed and was afraid that the "big scary guy" might catch him." Joel's tone was both amused and angry.

"Where did they pick him up?"

"About two miles east of the bridge at River and 22nd. I've already concentrated the search there. How's Blair?"

"He regained consciousness briefly. The doctor said he'll be fine. Make sure the units know not to approach Ellison, Joel. They still need to call me if they spot him. I'm going to update Connor and head that direction."

"Okay, Captain. I'll pass the word."

Simon hung up. He pulled out the business card he had for the West Cascade Animal Clinic and punched in Jenny's cell number.

"Dr. Watkin's speaking."

"Jenny, Simon."

"Have you found him?" she asked hopefully.

"No. I guess that means you haven't either."

"No," she said dispiritedly. "How's Blair?"

"He's fine. He regained consciousness briefly a few minutes ago then went back to sleep. We also have the guy who pushed him off the bridge in custody. Seems Jim scared him into giving himself up."

"Why am I not surprised," Jen said wearily.

"The unit picked him up at River and 22nd street. I'm heading there now."

"Okay. I'm not far, I'm on my way."

~~~~~~~

Jenny pulled her truck up to the curb and looked down the street. This area of the riverfront was mainly businesses. Most of the buildings had been built in the late forties or earlier fifties. About ten years ago the Cascade Preservation Society had convinced the city council to revamp the district by allowing small businesses to rent the buildings at a low rate if they financed conservation repairs.

The area now boasted specialty shops and small businesses that had financed repairs with low interest loans from Cascade National Bank. The conservation effort had brought new life to the district and was considered a great success.

Jenny regarded the street and surrounding buildings. Where are you Jim? Where could you be? Small alleyways separated some of the buildings and there were even a few small garden spots. She turned off the ignition, grabbed her spare jacket and her emergency medical kit and patted her pocket to make sure the plastic bag was still secure then she started walking.

~~~~~~~~

"Megan?" Blair whispered.

"Sandy! How are you feeling?" Megan asked, standing so she could talk to him face to face.

"Like I fell off a bridge. Where's Jim?" he asked, pegging her with his gaze.

"Damn. You get right to the point don't you?"

"Megan," Blair pleaded. "If everything was okay, he'd be here. What's wrong? Is Jim hurt?"

Megan closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them she met Blair's gaze with determination. "He took off after the guy who pushed you over the rail. The only thing we can figure is that for some reason Jim thought you were dead…"

Blair gasped, worry filled his eyes.

"The suspect was picked up a few hours ago," Megan grinned fiercely. "Evidently, Jimbo had been trailing him. The guy was terrified."

"Jim?"

She shook her head. "The officers didn't see him, but Jenny and Simon are down there right now looking for him."

Blair struggled to sit up moaning as his movements pulled against sutures and tender bruises. Megan gently restrained him.

"No you don’t Sandy. You took a header off a bridge and whatever you managed to catch yourself on put a nice long gash in your arm. If you move too much the doctor will just have to patch you back up."

"I've got to find Jim. Megan," he said, struggling against the woman's hands. "You don't understand, he needs me." Now that his mind was clear, Blair could feel Jim's confusion and pain through their bond. "He's confused, if he thinks I'm dead… Please, Megan!"

"What's going on in here?" the nurse asked, moving quickly to Blair's bedside. "You need to leave, Miss. You're upsetting the patient." The nurse turned her attention to the monitors. "Mr. Sandburg, if you don't calm down, we'll have to sedate you. You'll rip your sutures."

"Please," Blair begged not really aware how desperate he sounded. "I need to find my friend. I need to leave." He tried again to push himself up, grunting in pain before the nurse and Megan managed to ease him back down. "Jim!"

The nurse pushed the call button, keeping her other hand on Blair's shoulder. She shook her head.

The doctor on call entered the room. "What's going on, nurse?"

"He's very agitated and trying to get out of bed. I think he may have torn out some sutures, Doctor."

"All right, prepare a sedative."

"No!" Blair cried. "I've got to help Jim!" He struggled harder, pushed the nurse away and grabbed onto Megan's arm pulling himself up again. "Tell them, Megan. I'll sign out AMA. I can't stay here, please. Please!"

Megan frowned anxiously. "I don't know about this, doctor. I can calm him down if you'll give me a minute."

The nurse returned with a syringe and Blair swung his legs around until they hung off the side of the bed. The doctor grabbed his arm only to be pushed roughly away. Blair pulled the IV line out and used Megan's shoulder to steady himself as he stood.

The doctor moved closer to distract Blair as the nurse approached from behind and the injection found its target. Sandburg growled and continued toward the door for about five steps before his strength gave out and his knees buckled. Megan and the doctor each caught an arm before he could hit the floor.

"Back to bed Detective," the doctor said. "I need to see what you've done to our handiwork."

"No!" Blair said with a bit less force as the sedative began to kick in. "I have to… Jim… Megan?" he called turning fearful blue eyes on her.

"Oh, Sandy. I'm sorry. We'll find him, don't worry." She stood back as the doctor checked the suture line.

Blair succumbed to the sedative with a final plea. "Help…jim…"

********

alone

********

Jenny stopped and leaned against the building. The sun would be down completely in half an hour and then it might be impossible to find Jim. She closed her eyes, tilting her head back to touch the wall. Jen had stayed within several blocks of the location where the suspect had been picked up. She thought that maybe Jim was still nearby.

God, I'm tired. Where are you Jim? "Jim," she whispered, "if you can hear me, everything's going to be okay. Blair's alive but he needs you to come home. I need you to come home."

She opened her eyes scanning the street again. Where, where, where? Wait a minute! That building is for lease. Could he have gotten in somehow? Jenny ran across the street. She took the stairs two at a time and tried the front door. Locked. She pursed her lips thoughtfully as she examined the windows. Not broken. Neither window yielded when she attempted to open them. Back door?

Jenny jogged around the building finding the entrance she was looking for down the alley. A fire escape led up to a broken window. She climbed the ladder without another thought and slipped into the building.

The room was dark beyond the few feet where the setting sunlight penetrated the gloom. Jenny swung her medical bag off her shoulder and dug around until she found her otoscope. The light bulb was tiny, but better than nothing. Probably not a good idea to go shining a bright light around anyway, just in case I find Jim in here.

The dust on the floor had been disturbed and looking closer she could even make out footprints. Well, someone's been through here. She stopped and looked around the room. A broken chair provided a makeshift club that she hefted in her right hand keeping the light in her left. Just in case it's an unfriendly.

The footprints led out into a hallway and down to another door. It stood slightly ajar, the only light coming from Jenny's instrument. "Jim?" she whispered peering into the dark. Jen slowly pushed the door open and tried to force her eyes to see through the black. Of course it didn't work. Here goes nothing.

She stepped into the room and again was able to follow the footprints though she could see little else outside the glow of the light. An open door frame came into view and beyond that… Did something move? Jenny stopped and stared. "Jim?" There. Something did move.

Jenny took another step and held the light out as far as she could.

He cringed from the light though his face was tucked toward his chest so that Jen couldn't see it. The man lay curled on his side in an almost fetal position his arms and knees pulled up close to his chest. Jim? Oh, baby. Jen tried to hold back sob of despair, but some sound must have slipped past her lips.

Jim cringed and tried to crawl further into his own skin. Jenny held her breath as she thought through a plan. She pulled the baggie out of her pocket as quietly as possible then sat down about two feet from the Sentinel. She put her improvised club down and placed the light on the floor as far from Jim as she could and still be able to see him. Then she opened the bag and pulled out the piece of Blair's shirt.

She just held it for a few minutes, waiting for Jim to show some sign of relaxing. Finally his shoulders sagged just a bit. Jen slowly moved her hand and the rag toward Jim. Minutes passed. Jim lifted his head slightly his nostrils flaring at the familiar scent.

"Blair?" he asked hoarsely.

"Um hm," Jenny replied soft and low, hoping to draw Jim back to some reasonable facsimile of reality.

The Sentinel took the rag and held it to his face, peace washed over his features for a split second, then rage and a tremendous sorrow. "No! Blair!"

Jenny watched aghast as tears flowed down Jim's cheeks. "Jim. Blair's alive. He's alive. Please, Jim. Hear me. Blair's not dead."

Jim shook his head violently. "Fell. Dead. Couldn't find killer…"

Good, he's starting to make sense here, to communicate with me. "Yes, Jim, Blair did fall, but he caught onto a wire and slid down it. He didn't have to drop far, but then he rolled down the hill. He's alive. Blair's at the hospital. He wants to see you."

Pale blue eyes looked up to meet Jenny's. "Alive?"

Jen smiled through tears of her own as she nodded. "Yes, Jim. Blair's alive. He's worried about you." It wasn't exactly a lie. Even though Jen hadn't talked to Blair herself, she knew he would be worrying about his friend. "I can take you to him," she ventured, holding a hand out for him to take.

Jim stared at her for a long while, then gingerly reached out a hand to take Jenny's. He clutched the piece of Blair's shirt in his other hand. Jen helped him up making sure Jim had his balance before she released his hand. "Let me get my stuff, Jim and I'll take you to Blair."

Jim watched her silently, his eyes wide. Jenny grabbed her light and pulled her jacket out of the medical bag. It was too small for Jim, but would offer a little warmth. She settled it over his shoulders and took his hand again. "Come on, Jim. Let's go see Blair."

Jenny led Jim down the stairs to the front door. It seemed safer than trying to get them both down the fire escape. She was pretty sure Jim was in shock and didn't know how long he'd be able to move under his own power.

They made it to the street and down the few blocks to where her truck was parked. Thank God we didn't have to go far. Jim was beginning to tremble. Jen opened the door and helped him in then hurried to the driver's side and got the truck started. She turned up the heat and snugged the jacket tighter around his shoulders. Wish I had a blanket. Never did get it back out here after using it to move that injured dog last month.

Jenny pulled out and started toward Cascade General. She snuck another look at Jim as she dialed Simon's number on her cell. His clothes were dirty and disheveled as if he'd fallen. His tears had left dusty streaks on his cheeks.

"Banks."

"Simon," Jen said softly. "I found him. We're on the way to Cas Gen."

"Thank God. How is he?"

Jenny inhaled raggedly. "I think he's in shock. I managed to convince him that Blair was alive, or at least get him hoping it was true enough to come with me. He seems pretty out of it."

"I'm heading back to the hospital now. I'll inform the station that we found him."

"Simon, I think you need to make sure we can go straight to Blair. If I walk in with him like this without any warning, the doctors are going to want to hospitalize him."

"Jesus! You're right. That is the last thing we need. I'll call them."

"Look, Simon, I have a friend. He's a doctor there. I'm not sure if he's on shift right now, but if he is ask for him, Jonathan Kingston. Tell him he owes me and I'll explain later. He'll help us get Jim in to see Blair without all the red tape."

"Okay. If Kingston's not available, I'll figure something out. We have enough history with them."

"I'm about five minutes away, Simon."

"See you soon, Jenny."

Jenny ended the call and tentatively reached over to touch Jim's arm. "We'll be there soon Jim."

He didn't flinch, but Jen wasn't sure he actually knew she was there. She bit her lower lip and drove faster.

~~~~~~

Jen pulled up to the curb and saw Simon and Jonathan Kingston moving toward her. She hopped out of the truck and caught Kingston's arm. "Thanks, Nat. I promise I'll explain what I can later."

Kingston smiled. "I can always count on you, Iffy to keep me on my toes." He tilted his head toward the truck. "Detective Ellison?"

Jen nodded. "All he really needs right now, Nat is to see that his partner is alive. We can deal with anything else later."

Nat pursed his lips. "Okay, Iffy. You need any help getting him out of the truck?"

"I don't think so. If you'll clear the way, we'll be right behind you."

Nat nodded and headed for the hospital entrance. Simon hovered several feet away from the truck just in case they needed assistance.

Jenny opened the passenger door and touched Jim's arm. "Jim? We're here. Do you want to see Blair?"

Jim turned his head at Blair's name. His pupils dilated until only the smallest sliver of blue could be seen. His nostrils flared and he tilted his head. Jen somehow managed to keep a grasp on Jim's arm as he quickly jumped out of the truck and started off at a trot toward the hospital.

She was barely able to keep up with him. A quick nod from Nat as they passed eased her mind. At least no one would try to stop them. Not like they could without getting hurt at this point.

Jim led them unerringly to Blair's room and bolted through the door. Megan stood at the abrupt entrance then smiled with relief when she saw Ellison.

"You found him!" she exclaimed as Jim moved immediately to Blair's bedside.

Once they'd reached the door Jenny had let go of Jim's arm. She sagged into the nearest chair nodding in response to Megan's statement. For now she was content to let the Sentinel reconnect with his Guide and for Jim to reconnect with Blair.

Megan squeezed Jen's shoulder. "I'm going to give them some space. I'll be outside if you need anything."

"Thanks, Megs," Jen replied patting the detective's hand.

~~~~

 _Guide scent? Where? Fresh! Not dead? Blair? Blair!_

Jim found himself standing beside a hospital bed containing his best friend. The friend he thought had died falling off a bridge. He reached out tentatively to smooth an errant curl from his brother's face. Jim didn't notice that his hand trembled. All he knew was that Blair was really alive. By some miracle, his friend hadn't fallen to his death.

It didn't matter how Blair had been spared or how Jim had ended up beside his bed without a single memory of the last hours. The only thing that held any value to him at that moment was his friend's steady heartbeat.

The only thing that would give him more peace and joy would be to see Blair's eyes open and hear his brother's voice.

Jim carefully took Blair's hand in his, letting the feel of his Guide's pulse steady him. "Wake up, Chief," Jim pleaded.

Jenny watched, amazed at how fast Jim had returned from where ever he had been. A hand on her shoulder startled Jen and she turned to see Nat smiling kindly at her.

"Thanks again, Nat," Jenny said softly.

The doctor nodded watching the tall detective hovering over his partner. "I've seen these two in the ER a time or two and heard other doctors and nurses talking about them. They're either praising or cursing them, depending on the situation," Nat said with a grin.

"How's Blair?" Jen asked.

Kingston went over to the chart hanging from the foot of the bed and read through it quickly. His eyebrows raised then lowered. He turned thoughtful eyes on the patient and noticed that Ellison was watching him now as well. Nat smiled.

"Detective Sandburg seems to be doing quite well. He did rip out a couple of stitches earlier trying to get out of bed. His doctor sedated him. It looks like they just gave him another injection to keep him quiet, so it may be a while before he wakes up."

"He's all right?" Jim asked concerned.

Nat nodded. "He has a slight concussion and a lot of bruises. The worst injury was the cut on his right arm. That's where he popped a few stitches. His hands were also pretty sliced up, but the cuts were mostly superficial."

Jim sighed. "Thank you, Dr…."

"Kingston. Jonathan Kingston," he held his hand out and shook Jim's. "Good to meet you Detective Ellison."

"It's Jim, Doc."

Jenny grinned as Kingston grimaced. "Nat and I went to college together. For some reason he has a strange aversion to being called "Doc.""

Nat rolled his eyes. "Iffy here pegged everyone with a nickname in college, friend and foe. I much prefer Nat to Doc, any day."

"Iffy?" Jim asked feeling a bit more centered now that he knew Blair was all right.

This time Nat grinned as Jenny rolled her eyes. "I figured turn about was fair play. She grabbed the middle of Jonathan for my nickname. I just returned the favor."

Jim frowned for a second. Jennifer? He grinned. I suppose he just tweaked it enough to be annoying. "Well, thank you for getting us in to see Blair so quickly," Jim said, changing the subject. He vaguely recalled Jen and Nat talking outside the hospital. What memory he had of the last few hours was a bit fuzzy.

"No problem, Jim," Nat glanced at his watch. "I've got to get back to work. Jen, call me? It's been a while."

Jenny nodded as she stood and gave Nat a hug. "Thanks again. I owe you."

"Naw, Iffy. I owed you, remember?" He grinned at her as they broke the hug. "I think we're even now." Nat caught her hands as the parted. He turned them over studying her scars. "These healed nicely." The doctor met Jen's eyes again. "Sorry I wasn't in town when you needed me."

Jen grinned wryly. "That's okay. You were here today when I really needed you. I'll call you," Jen promised giving Nat's hands a squeeze. He nodded and left the room. Jenny turned back to Jim. "Are you okay now?"

Jim's eyes seemed to focus on a spot beyond her for a second then he met her eyes and nodded. "Yeah. I don't really remember how I got here though," he admitted.

Jenny shrugged. "That's okay. We can talk about it later." She moved closer to him and gently rubbed her thumb across his cheek. "Why don't you clean up? You don't want Blair to see you looking like this when he wakes up."

Jim pulled her to him and buried his face in her neck. Jenny returned the embrace. "I love you," she whispered. She felt him nod against her neck and take a deep breath before he backed away.

"Go on, Jim. I'll see if there's at least a clean shirt for you somewhere and maybe some food." Jen watched Jim go into the bathroom. The semi-private room only had one patient at the moment and Blair was still sleeping soundly.

Jenny moved to the side of the bed and placed a gentle kiss on Blair's cheek. "We have a lot to discuss when you wake up," she promised softly. Jen then went out the door and found Megan and Simon waiting.

"Well?" Simon asked as soon as he saw her. "How is he?"

She shrugged. "Jim came out of it within minutes of seeing Blair. I can't say he's one hundred percent, but he's back. I just wanted to see if I could get a clean scrub top for him to wear and something to eat."

"I think I can do better than that," Simon proclaimed. "I'll be right back." He strode off purposefully toward the elevator.

Jen looked at Megan. "What did he mean by that?"

Megan grinned. "He probably has a bag with spare clothes for the two of them in his car." Megan jerked her thumb toward Blair's room as she said "them."

"Oh." Jen took a deep breath as weariness hit her hard. She shook her head and yawned. "I'm going to go get something from the cafeteria. Want anything?"

"I think coffee all around would be great," Megan replied yawning herself.

Jen smiled. "Sorry. I'll be right back."

~~~~~~

Simon came back with a duffel bag. "I'm just going to take these in," he told Megan.

She nodded. "Jenny went to the cafeteria."

Banks entered the room and saw that Sandburg was still sleeping. He heard the shower going in the bathroom and tapped lightly on the door before opening it enough to slip the bag in. "Here are some clothes, Jim." Simon closed the door and went to look out the window.

It's never easy for these guys. I wonder if Jenny's made peace with the whole Sentinel thing? She certainly seemed worried about Jim and Blair. And jumped right in to help. Wish there was something I could do to help.

He turned as Jim came out of the bathroom wearing the fresh clothes and towel drying his hair.

"Thanks, Simon."

"You're welcome. Jenny should be back with some food in a few minutes."

Jim nodded combing his fingers through his hair. He concentrated on folding the towel. "I thought he was dead, Simon," Jim said, barely loud enough for Simon to hear.

"I figured that might be the case. What happened, Jim?" Simon asked quietly, taking a seat by Blair's bed.

Ellison started to pace slowly across the room. "I'm not exactly sure. I'm beginning to remember bits and pieces." He stopped, facing the window and stared out of it. "I saw Blair falling over the rail," Jim turned to look at Simon. "The fear in his eyes when he realized he was falling…" Jim closed his eyes and swallowed hard.

Simon watched, thankful that both men had been wrong about the fall.

"I reached the rail but couldn't make myself look over at first. When I did, my senses were all out of whack. I couldn't hear anything past my own breathing and heartbeat. My vision even blacked out for a second." Jim stopped and took a few deep breaths.

"When I could see again… there was so much blood… and the fall." He met Simon's gaze. "I couldn't hear his heartbeat, Simon. Have I ever told you that I use it as my anchor?"

Simon shook his head keeping silent. I'm not surprised though.

"I think it must be a Sentinel/Guide thing… but I couldn't hear it… After that things are a bit fuzzy." Jim turned his eyes to Blair's still form. "I remember thinking I had to find his killer. There were a lot of buildings and I saw people, but they weren't the guy I was looking for. Then I… my senses started spiking. I had no control. I found someplace… a quiet place. It was dark and didn't hurt as much."

Banks let him continue, knowing Jim needed to debrief and that listening was the best way for him to help his friend.

"Everything sort of blurred together for a while. My senses were still out of control even in the dark, quiet place. Then someone was there, I think it was Jen. But I could smell Blair. We left that place and rode in a car. I recall Jen talking to Dr. Kingston outside and then I knew Blair was here! Jenny had told me he was alive, but when I got here I could hear him and then I… woke up, I guess you could say." Jim stopped talking and turned a bewildered look on Simon. "I don't really understand what happened to me."

"went primal," a soft hoarse voice said.

"Blair!" Jim exclaimed, moving quickly to his friend's side. He grasped Blair's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Hey, Jim," Blair replied, still a bit foggy from the sedative.

Jim took a ragged breath.

Blair looked into his partner's eyes and saw a myriad of emotions fighting for control. Relief, fear, shame, guilt, love, and anger jockeyed for position. "It's okay, big guy. I'm okay," Blair said with a smile, patting Jim's arm gingerly with his bandaged hand. "How are you doing?"

Ellison looked for a minute like he was going to manage to shore up that wall of emotion one more time, then he just gave in. Too much had happened in the last few weeks and especially the last few hours. He was tired of running from his feelings.

Jim sat on the edge of the bed and leaned forward until his head rested on his best friend's chest. He could hear the familiar heart beating loudly in his ear.

Blair sent an alarmed look at Simon who just shook his head, his own face a picture of worry. Sandburg lifted his good arm and carefully rubbed Jim's back. He couldn't tell how much pressure he was using due to the bandages but Jim seemed content to just lie there.

After a few minutes Blair felt a wet spot on his chest and was surprised to realize Jim was crying. I don't think he even realizes it. The older man was completely still except for his breathing. Oh God, I think he zoned. "Okay, Jim. I think it's time for you to come on back now, big guy. I may make a good pillow, but your head is hard. I do have a few bruises that you're leaning on there, man. Come on Jim. Come back now."

"I'm not zoned, Chief," Jim said, lifting his head and slowly sitting up right again. "I just needed…" he trailed off, glancing at Simon shyly then meeting Blair's eyes again.

Blair smiled relieved. "That's okay, Jim. You just had me worried for a minute there."

"I'll just wait outside," Simon said as he left the room.

Jim remained silent after Simon left. He wrapped his hand around Blair's wrist and focused on his Guide's pulse. Blair studied his friend for a minute then twisted his wrist to make sure the Sentinel hadn't zoned.

Ellison looked up and met Blair's gaze.

"Are your dials okay, Jim?"

Jim nodded slowly. "Now," he replied.

"Why don't you tell me what you remember," Blair said, making it more of an order than a request.

~~~~

Jenny came back to the waiting area with hot coffee and sandwiches enough for all of them. Except she had a large soda for herself.

"Blair's awake," Simon told Jen, gratefully accepting her offerings. "I figured they need a few minutes."

Jen nodded her agreement and sat down to eat.

After about fifteen minutes, Jenny stood and grabbed two of the extra sandwiches and a bottle of water. "Jim needs to eat," she said decisively, almost daring the others to dispute her right to go into the room. She pushed the door open taking a deep breath as she entered.

Blair looked up at her and smiled. Jim was sitting in the chair but had leaned forward to rest his head on the bed and was sound asleep.

"I thought he might be hungry," Jen said softly with a slight smile.

Blair grinned and tilted his head invitingly. "Probably, but I think he needed rest more than food. Have a seat Jen."

Jenny put the food and drink down on the bedside table and sat beside the sleeping Sentinel. "How are you feeling Blair?"

He shrugged then winced as the motion pulled at his injured arm. "Been better. Been worse. I'm just glad that wire was there."

"Me, too. You had us all worried Blair."

Blair nodded looking fondly at Jim. "He told me what happened. At least what he remembered. Could you fill me in?"

Jenny nodded and started to recap the afternoon.

~~~~~~

"That's pretty much it, Blair," Jenny finished.

"That was a good idea taking something of mine along, Jenny," Blair commended.

The vet leaned forward and covered her face with her hands. "I'm so glad we talked before this happened, otherwise I wouldn't have known what to do." She paused. "I'm sorry I left like that. I just couldn't…" she stopped again looking back up at Blair. "I didn't think I could compete with the connection you two have."

A rueful grin quirked one corner of Jen's mouth briefly. "I realize now that I was jealous of the situation and didn’t have any reason or right to be."

"It is a little more than most relationships have to deal with," Blair admitted with a sigh. "There's got to be a better way of explaining these things. A way that isn't so blunt. I'm not really looking forward to telling anyone else."

Jenny regarded Blair thoughtfully. "You mean when you meet "Miss Right?""

Blair grinned and shrugged. "Eventually, I suppose. I hope."

"Well, I'm still not one hundred percent sure what all your bond entails, but I'll try to help out when the time comes, okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay," Jim added his head still on the mattress. "Now will you let me sleep?" he teased.

"Hey, man, that was a private conversation," Blair grumped, playing along. "How long have you been listening?"

Jim sat up and stretched his arms up above his head yawning at the same time. "Hmm. I don't know. I think Jen was describing her search and rescue effort." His nose twitched and Jim looked toward the sandwiches on the table. "Are those for me?"

Jenny nodded watching Jim carefully. He seems to be himself again. She glanced at Blair and received a quick nod.

They sat in companionable silence while Jim devoured one of the sandwiches. He wiped his mouth and looked up to see Blair and Jen with similar amused smiles on their faces. Jim grinned sheepishly. "I was hungry," he said with a shrug.

"I thought you might be," Jen replied gently as she stood. "I'm going to go so that Blair can get some rest."

Jim stood and caught her arm. "Jen," he started uncertain what to say.

Jenny smiled. "It's okay, Jim. I'll see you tomorrow. We can talk when you're rested."

The Sentinel scanned her and could only detect honest intentions. Jim smiled in return and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you."

Jen wrapped her arms around him tightly. "You're welcome." As they parted she said, "now you get some rest too. I'll come by with lunch tomorrow."

Jim and Blair watched her leave the room then automatically turned to face each other.

Blair grinned. "You are so caught, man. Hook, line and sinker."

Ellison rolled his eyes but remained serious. "You think she's okay with all this?" he asked, moving his hand back and forth between the two of them.

"Hell, Jim. How long did it take you and me to be okay with all this?" Blair asked with no little sarcasm. He continued a bit more gently. "I think Jenny's handling it. That's really all any of us can do. She has no idea what our bond really is, just like we have no clue how she feels about it. All we can do is be honest with each other and hope that it's enough."

Jim regarded his Shaman thoughtfully. "Are you okay with me and Jenny, Chief?"

Blair frowned. "What do you mean, Jim?"

"Well, things are getting pretty serious for me and if we continue to see each other," Jim paused licking his lips nervously. "I, well, I can see a proposal coming in the near future if everything works out." He searched Blair's eyes. "Marriage would change the dynamics of our relationship a bit, don't you think?"

Blair frowned. "Yes, of course it will. I mean I doubt Jenny would be very understanding about me living in the spare bedroom."

Jim snorted.

"But, really Jim, it's probably high time I get my own place anyway. I've been thinking about it for a while, there just wasn't any real need to pursue it until now."

"You could have said something Blair, if you needed more room or your own space."

Blair waved a hand dismissively. "Naw, I like sharing the loft with you, Jim. I just figured maybe you'd like your place back eventually…"

"Chief, if I'd wanted you out, I would have told you before now," Jim rubbed a hand over his face, more tired than he cared to admit. "I guess it was sort of inevitable that you'd get tired of my house rules," he sent a crooked grin at his friend.

Blair chuckled.

"I just don't want you to go too far, Chief."

The Guide settled back against his pillows and smiled. "Don't worry, kemo sabe. I've got a plan.

******

Jenny brought Thai for all three of them for lunch the next day. The conversation stayed within the realm of safe topics though.

Blair convinced Jim to go home that evening and Jenny offered to give him a ride.

Jim and Jenny spent the drive back to the loft in silence. As Jenny parked the truck, Jim turned to her. "Come up?" he asked quietly.

Jen met his eyes and nodded.

They stood separately in the elevator waiting for the ancient machine to deposit them on the third floor. Jim led the way to apartment 307 and let Jenny in. He locked the door behind them automatically and dumped his keys into the basket by the door.

Jenny moved slowly around the living area looking at the pictures, books and artifacts on the shelves. Funny how much these things say about Jim and Blair now that I know them better.

Jim watched her for a moment then went to the refrigerator. "Want something to drink?" he asked pulling out a beer for himself.

"What kind of tea did Blair make?" Jen asked moving toward the kitchen. She saw Jim sniff gingerly at the pitcher and smiled.

"Blackberry," the Sentinel replied, grinning back when he saw Jen's smile.

"That sounds good."

Jim poured her a glass and they both sat at the kitchen island.

Jenny stared into her glass then started to speak. "Jim… I'm sorry I ran out on you…" she looked up and waved her hand toward the balcony.

He shrugged. "It must have been a shock for you."

"Hmph. Yeah, I guess that's one way to put it. But that doesn't excuse my behavior. I just thought… I needed some time to determine whether or not I could commit myself to a relationship with you regardless of what that brought. It's not just the Sentinel stuff, Jim. You're a cop and that's a dangerous profession."

Jen took a deep breath then continued. "Okay, yeah, the Sentinel thing was part of my problem, but what it really came down to for me was could I keep my promise to be there for you no matter what. Because that's the type of relationship I'm looking for. Someone who will be there for me, love me no matter what, in sickness and in health," she tilted her head ruefully. "The whole bit. And I expect to give that back one hundred percent." Jenny's worried blue eyes held Jim's. "I had to be sure I could be there for you, Jim. No matter what."

Jim regarded her thoughtfully. "So what did you decide?" Buck up Ellison. Here's the part where she tells you it's too much and she just wants to be friends. He straightened in surprise when Jenny put her head down on her arms where they rested on the tabletop. "Jenny?"

She shook her head without lifting it, her voice muffled slightly. "I'm okay. I want to be with you, Jim. God help me." Jen looked back up at him. "All I could think of while you were missing was that I'd wasted two weeks that I could have spent with you. I love you. I love Jim Ellison, cop, Sentinel, all of it. I love you," she emphasized softly.

Jim swallowed hard. Well, there you have it Ellison. The woman loves you. She accepts who you are, what you are and didn't run screaming off into the night once she knew you were spiritually bonded to Blair. What more do you want?

He had talked to Simon and Megan the day before and knew the concern Jenny had shown for himself and for Blair. Not to mention the effort she had put forth to find the missing Sentinel.

He remembered bits and pieces of the time he'd been missing. Jenny's presence was a warm, safe memory, one that had brought hope to him when the Sentinel had despaired over losing his Guide, his brother. Jenny never looked at him with anything but concern and affection. She didn't treat him like a freak or a science project, but rather like a man with a heart and soul. What do I want? For her to stay forever.

"Are you sure?" Jim asked.

"Yes," she answered simply with a small smile.

Jenny watched as Jim's face slowly transformed from a worried frown to a full smile that made his eyes twinkle. She felt her own smile widen in response.

"So," Jim said, unable to contain his grin. "I guess this means we're stuck with each other, huh?"

Jen laughed. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Good," Jim growled standing. He went around to help Jenny off of her stool and bent to kiss her lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and savored the warmth of his body next to hers.

"I missed you," she whispered when her lips were free.

"Me too," Jim replied recapturing her lips.

Several minutes later, Jenny pushed Jim back with a sigh and a grin. He took a deep breath to compose himself. "What?" he finally asked.

Jen closed her eyes then opened them. "I still want to wait, Jim," she said almost Sentinel soft.

Jim groaned leaning forward to rest his head on her shoulder.

"Jim?"

He started to chuckle and caught her in a hug taking in the peachy scent of her shampoo. "What am I going to do with you?" Jim asked, his tone clearly amused.

"Love me for who I am?" came a tentative reply.

"I do," Jim said softly nuzzling her neck. "I do love you."

******

"I can't believe you let Jim talk you into this, Jenny," Blair said again as the three of them walked through campus to Daryl's dorm.

"Well," Jen replied with a grin, "it was partially my fault you lost the bet. Besides, this way we'll finish sooner and have some time to take in the sights."

Blair turned to walk backwards in front of Jim and Jenny. Jim shook his head, amazed as always that Blair still seemed to blend right in with the campus crowd.

"You don't know what you've gotten yourself into, Jen," Blair continued, not bothering to check where he was heading as periodic passersby dodged the trio. "Jim's the worst neat freak you'll ever meet. You watch. We'll spend hours just getting the fridge cleaned. And I'm pretty sure Daryl just has a small dorm fridge."

"You'd better watch where you're going Sandburg," Jim growled. He glanced down at Jen and rolled his eyes. Jenny chuckled at their antics.

"He's just trying to throw you off guard Jenny, you wait and see…" Blair stopped suddenly as his shoulder rammed into someone. He turned with an apology already on his lips. "I'm sor…" Blair's voice trailed off as he met the amused gaze of the most beautiful green eyes he'd ever seen.

"That's okay," a rich alto replied. "If I'd been paying attention I think I still would have run into you." She gave him a mischievous grin and a wink and kept walking.

Blair stared after her for a few long seconds then blinked owlishly. He shook his head and glanced toward Jim not even making eye contact before tracking back to the woman. "I… I'll catch up to you guys," he said, sprinting off to catch the mystery woman.

"Chief!" Jim hollered half-heartedly, turning to see Blair catch up to the brunette and start up a conversation. "Sandburg!"

Jen placed her hand on his arm. "Let him go, Jim," she said with a smile. "I've seen that look before, it's best not to interfere."

Jim's eyes narrowed as he met Jen's gaze. "When have you seen that look before?"

"Oh," Jen replied coyly, running her hand down his chest as she turned, walking off toward Daryl's dorm. "On a certain tall detective's face, not too long ago."

Jim frowned thoughtfully then lifted his eyebrows as he fought to keep a goofy grin off his face. He was only partially successful. The Sentinel jogged up behind Jen and caught her in a hug.

"I never looked that silly," he growled playfully, nibbling on her ear.

Jenny giggled. "Well…" then quickly changed what she was going to say when Jim ghosted his fingers over a ticklish spot on her ribs. "No, no, of course not, oh Great Sentinel."

Jim landed his fingers on the ticklish spot and delighted in the sound of Jenny's ringing laughter. Maybe Daryl won't get the full Sentinel White Glove Treatment after all.

Jim planted a promising kiss on Jenny's lips and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. There are much better things to be doing here than cleaning a dorm room.

TBC

Dedicated to my sweet, brave Dreamer

5-11-1995 to 1-23-2004


End file.
